The True Self and False Self (continued)

The true self is now hidden, buried underneath the layers of falsehood and deception of the false self. The false self is constituted of empty projections and illusions, which Merton says we construct to "[…] conceal the truth of our misery from ourselves, our brethren and from God" (Silent, p.22). The force drawing us away from our true identity is the influence of original sin (Shannon 1981). Because of original sin, we desire complete autonomy from God, to actually become our own god. Of course, this dream is crushed by the reality of our brokenness and misery, so we construct myriad ways of covering our weakness and sin with superficial projections of ourselves and others. The superficial quality of our false self is denoted in what Merton later called the exterior self. The exterior self sees everything as something at a distance to be used for one's own ends. It has withdrawn into exile from the true inner self, in which there was once contemplative union with God. In place of that blessed union, one's fulfillment becomes a matter of constructing an identity out of perceived and imagined successes, and, as Anne Carr (1988) explains, "Having become dependent on self-observation and self-assertion, one seeks happiness outside oneself" (p.49).

We construct the scaffolding of the false self out of the pleasures, experiences, power, knowledge, and glories of this life, in order to "clothe its nothingness into something objectively real" (Seeds, p.28). All this scaffolding, this cosmetic décor, is a vain attempt to mask the shame of our own nothingness apart from God. It is an illusion we fashion to "exist outside the radius of God's will and God's love—outside of reality and outside of life" (p.28). By living this lie, we make our false self the center around which everything is ordered, and the assumption that our egocentric desires constitute the reality of our life is the fountain of our sin (cf. p.28).

The true self is regained when God the Father comes to dwell in us in His Word and Spirit at baptism, according to Merton (Seeds, p.33). From that point, "our life becomes a series of choices between the fiction of our false-self, whom we feed with the illusions of passion and selfish appetite, and our true identity in the peace of God" (p.33-34). All of life on earth will have this struggle between falsehood and truth, selfish passions and the peace of God, because we tend to concentrate our faculties and actions on our false self--on our selfish ambitions, even when they involve the desire for virtue, sanctity, and contemplation. Good spiritual ends are tarnished by competing, fleshly ends. Yet, Merton believed the Holy Spirit always draws us to the true self (Shannon 1981). More hopeful still, the true self already abides in us, even if we are not able to fully discover it, for Christ lives in us. The true self is already revived in those who undergo the waters of New Birth at baptism. As for consciously experiencing the new self in Christ, Merton believed, studied, and taught that this blessing is pursued (humanly speaking) through contemplation.

¹Merton explicitly based this truth on Paul's famous saying about himself: I live, indeed not I, for truly Christ lives in me / Vivo, iam non ego, vivit vero in me Christus (cf. Seeds, p.33).

 

Copyright 2010

The True Self and the False Self

Although Merton wrestled with his understanding of the self his whole life, his writings give a well-formed description of the true self and false self.[1]  The true self is who a person was created to be in union with God: “the man who is free and upright, in the image and likeness of God” (The Silent Life, p.22).  The life of the true self is the life lived in Paradise, before the Fall, when there was truly no separation between God and man.  A constant communion and contemplation of God was the essence of the true self. 

Being made like God, humans are created as free agents who act and will.  Unlike other creatures, whose nature is determined for them, we are made with the freedom to be whatever we like (Seeds of Contemplation, pp.26-30).  God’s intent is that we would be like Him by choosing to accept, love and do His will.  Human freedom is the ability to love God, to do his will as one’s own will.  To be one’s true self is to live in the liberty God gives so that one may consciously and willfully accept the fullness of his existence, which is to reflect back in his freedom the God who made him.  Freedom is given to man so that he may find himself by choosing to love God.

One’s true self is hidden in God, and it is only found by seeking Him.  To become one’s true self, he must find it in God, as Merton explains: “Therefore there is only one problem on which all my existence, my peace and my happiness depend: to discover myself in discovering God.  If I find Him, I will find myself and if I find my true self I will find Him” (p.29).  This one, chief problem of human existence is complicated by the presence of sin and man’s depravity since Adam.  In fact, Merton emphasizes that to find oneself in finding God is immensely difficult, so that no man can do it alone, and neither can “all the men and all the created things in the universe help him in this work” (p.30).  The only one, he says, who can teach us to find God and our true self is God and Him alone. 

copyright 2010

---

[1] Merton was always reformulating his ideas, and in part the mutation of his thought is due to his theological method.  He did not try to systematize his theology so much as plumb its depths.  He was dealing with a subject that was very personal to him, and as he changed, his understanding changed, too.  Because of his relentless penetration into these ideas, there exists a substantial theology of the self in Merton’s writings.  As Anne Carr says, “The problem of the self remained an intense concern for Merton, and he understood it as a central issue […] In a very broad sense, he sketched the outlines of what may be called a symbolic theology of the self (Carr 1988, p. 3).

Thomas Merton’s Contribution to Evangelical Spirituality

Thomas Merton sheds light on a lost and neglected insight: to know God, we must know our true selves. Although others before him had explored this truth, Merton's life and writings have testified to it in a way that is particularly articulate for us today. In modern evangelical spirituality, we have been told again and again that too much focus on the self is bad. What we need is less of me and more of God. Thoughts about the self are a sign of selfishness, and so we need to stop thinking about our thoughts, feelings, and desires, and instead think about God and other people.

Yet, this is not quite a fair assessment, for there are those who advocate more attention to the self, especially what the self desires. The Biblical Counseling movement has equipped people to identify the idols of their hearts. Likewise the newly reinvigorated influence of the Puritans has come, instructing us to take great care of our souls through a proper form of introspection. There is a place for looking into the self. Knowing and combating one's sins and weaknesses is paramount to spiritual growth. Merton certainly taught something similar to this kind of self-examination.

On the other hand, he goes further by including another necessary part of self-awareness, which he called contemplation. Contemplation does more than look at sinful behaviors and the lusts underlying them. It pursues knowledge of one's true self, that is, the good created self that has been redeemed through Christ. Humans are created by God. Even greater, humans are created in God's image. As Augustine said, man has, as a function of his nature, a proclivity to love what is good, with God being the highest and chief good; man's weight gravitates towards what is lovable. For all these reasons, man is good, and he is meant for good, in fact, the greatest good, which is knowing and loving the Triune God. If, like Merton, we remember this fact about ourselves, we shall be able to more wisely and effectively see what is both good about us and what is bad. As Merton said, it is only by understanding our goodness that we can understand our wickedness. Modern pastoral theology among evangelicals is in danger of neglecting this wisdom. By doing so, we will only end up promoting a false view of reality, falling into pride and vanity.

Merton's antidote is contemplation. Being a monk and one who wrote for monks, he thought the monastic life was the most ideal place for contemplation to happen. He did not limit it to monks, however. Every Christian is called to their own journey in maturity. For, the goal of maturity is a true knowledge of self and of God, so that we will become what we were meant to be and God will be for us what He truly is. This journey requires contemplation because the greatest hindrance to maturity is deceit. The diabolical working of deceit keeps us from truly knowing ourselves, and thus from truly knowing God. Contemplation works against deceit by confronting the mendacity of our false selves and freeing the true self hidden in every one of us.

Drink This

THE ELIXIR                      

TEACH me, my God and King,
In all things Thee to see,
And what I do in anything,
To do it as for Thee.

Not rudely, as a beast,
To run into action ;
But still to make Thee prepossest,
And give it his perfection.

A man that looks on glass,
On it may stay his eye,
Or, if he pleaseth, through it pass,
And then the heav'n espy.

All may of Thee partake ;
Nothing can be so mean
Which with this tincture (for Thy sake)
Will not grow bright and clean.

A servant with this clause
Makes drudgery divine :
Who sweeps a room as for Thy laws,
Makes that and th' action fine.

This is the famous stone
That turneth all to gold ;
For that which God doth touch and own
Cannot for less be told.

 

-George Herbert (1593-1633)