Our First Year--My First Lesson


Rachael and I celebrated our first anniversary this past May. Some people have said the first year is the hardest of marriage. If that is so, I am a blessed man. It is hard to conceive of life as a bachelor, which wasn't so long ago. And now, when Rachael or I have to be apart for a night, it is even harder than it was our first months after the wedding. (By the way, she is leaving to see her parents in Florida next week for five days, which I am inwardly dreading.) I hate to be apart from her, physically and in other ways. . .
There is something far worse than being separated by distance from my wife: the cold steel wall of sin and unforgiveness. Yes, there have been several times of hurt and difficultly this past year. How can there not be when two sinners (albeit saved by grace and progessing in sanctification) inhabit the same abode? I almost shiver to think of the moments I have caused Rachael pain and sadness because of my selfishness and pride. Thank God for His mercy, for He forgives such evil. And I have found this first year of marriage that a chief lesson all husbands and wives must master is a question: "Will you please forgive me?" This lesson is probably the most difficult one to master, because asking forgiveness goes against every inclination of our prideful heart, and it admits the one thing all of us by nature hate to confess: our sin. I'm not refering to the general confession that one is a sinner, rather I mean the specific acknowledgement that we were wrong--we sinned in a specific situation--without excuse or pretention. It is so hard to say those words to Rachael, or to anyone for that matter, without trying to defend myself and cast blame somewhere else. But when I do, there is no greater feeling than the restoration of relationship that follows. It is so much better to have Rachael's softened, tear-marked face turn to me in forgiveness, than to have the black wall of unforgiveness cut us off in deafening silence.
I thank God He's brought this to me in our first year, for there is no question that this lesson will have to be practiced over and over again. I am so thankful for a wife who forgives. Even moreso am I glad for a God who has shown us how to forgive in the first place:

Eph 4:32 "Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in
Christ forgave you."